December 27, 2008

Well, we managed to get out the door! The lead up to leaving almost killed me... and subsequently my family. I kind of went OCD cleaning the house... wiping, dusting, vacuuming, straightening, sorting through, chucking out, boxing up, and so on. I was a machine that, if interrupted, could spontaneously lash out in a wild frenzy... In the end, the house got clean and the kids learned to let ticking time bombs simmer quietly on their own.

Our journey began when a few of our neighbours came by to see us off while we loaded our suitcases and backpacks into two vans. It was so nice to see family and friends as we headed out, knowing 'home' is where we belong.

First stop was the Victoria ferry terminal. In a rather obvious spectacle, all seven of us, toting a total of 9 suitcases and 7 backpacks, weaved our way to the ticket booth to purchase our ferry passes. As we waited our turn, a kind woman approached me and asked me if all these kids were ours. When I replied that they were, she handed me three ferry passes and wished me a Merry Christmas! She had over-purchased the number of tickets she needed, and looking at our train of people, felt compelled to turn her misfortune into an act of kindness. What a wonderful way to start this adventure... being reminded of the goodness of mankind.

When the ferry docked, we hopped aboard a Pacific Coast Line bus which took us to the Vancouver Airport. We were early for our flight, so the airport was rather quiet and our check-in was straightforward. The younger kids seemed most excited about going through the airport security and passing through the metal detector. “What about the metal on my pant zipper?”, “What about the metal on my button?”. They seemed reassured to hear that most people have metal on their pants and somehow can still keep their pants on and take a flight simultaneously. Again, security was a rather simple experience with everyone passing through without complication (aside from a minor backpack search for mom... “Sorry about the juice box, sir”).

With so little hold-ups and weather that co-operated, we arrived at our boarding gate with a few hours to spare. It was time to bust out the snacks and games... We also took the opportunity to give the kids a quick lecture on appropriate and inappropriate (read felony) jokes when you're in an airport or on a plane, and how the repercussions of ignoring our advice could dramatically alter their trip plans... forever...

And here we wait... Rich is reading a magazine, Ryan is watching a show in his iPod touch, Michael is reading an Archie comic, Matthew is snacking and playing on his Nintendo DS, Emily is snacking and watching the news on the airport TV, and Jillian is engaging every human being in our little area, sharing family secrets with perfect strangers, making friends and showing off her sticker earrings. I've managed to kill off an hour trying to write this blog entry, in between making sandwiches, fishing Jilly out from under some seats, and mediating a game of “Guess Who”. Life is good.

-Heather

Missing My Mom

Seven years ago today, I lost my mom to acute myeloid leukemia. It was a quick and aggressive battle that ended quietly early one morning as the sun gently crept up over the mountains and filled her bedroom with it's rays. Her last sigh escaped her lips and floated effortlessly into the air around us. Always one to want to be with her family, she was surrounded by her husband and children, all sending her off on her new adventure with our love and support.

In some ways, it feels like she's been gone a very long time. I guess seven years can be looked upon as a very long time. Over the course of the past few years, I find I'm not thinking about her everyday, anymore. The dull ache that I carried around w/ me regularly, has left me as my constant companion, instead returning only every now and again. I visit her grave less and feel less guilty about that. My love and appreciation for her has not diminished, of course, however life, being what it is, keeps moving onward and we're all along for this mortal ride that keeps us busy and distracted. In the days, weeks and years since her passing, I've been busy raising children, going back to school, running a small business, etc. All things that occupy the mind and calendar. So, somehow seven years have snuck by and I realize I haven't seen my mom's face, except for her pictures in my house, for a very long time. Realizing how long it has been, makes me realize how much I've healed. Though the hole remains, my soul has been busy mending.

However, in some ways it feels like she was just here. I think about how she was just recently my 'go-to' girl when I had concerns as I started raising my own family, and how willing she was to help me out when the responsibilities of motherhood got to be overwhelming at times. She was my advocate when I considered homeschooling, a part of my support for my homebirths, a person on “my” side and who loved me w/o borders. As I band together w/ my two younger sisters as they begin having their own families, I realize what they're missing out on, what I should be providing for them in her stead, and how much I wish she were still here for all of us. If I hear her voice as I watch old home movies, it's like hearing an old friend that you haven't seen for a while, but you could just pick up a conversation with where you left off. There are plenty of memories of her still alive and well that bounce around inside my head reminding me that she was just here, just a blink of an eye ago, she was snuggling my newborn against her cheek enjoying the smell of my daughters 'newness'. She was just here, sharing her thoughts and tears, not always as mother to daughter, but sometimes as woman to woman. We had stumbled into a new dimension in our relationship, meant to be enjoyed for years to come, but lasting only the last few years of her life. Better late than never, though.

I'm grateful that there is remembering and forgetting. I'm grateful that there is still pain and healing. It reminds me of where I've come from and overcome in my life, while still allowing me the opportunity to seek happiness and joy in the present and future.

I love you, Mom. Thank you for everything you were.

-Heather

Dec. 5, 2006

Michael - Baked a cake using a recipe he created on his own. Created his new blog and uploaded some of his previously written work (including pictures). Created a new blog entry. Cleaned the bathroom. Did a unit in Saxon Math and his math drill. Went to piano lessons. Walked the dog he is hired to walk 4x/week. Picked up Em from Kindergarten for me. Used "BrainPop" for a 1/2 hour.

Ryan - Created his new blog and uploaded some of his written work (including pictures). Created a new blog entry. Did a unit in Saxon Math and his math drill. Went to piano lessons. Used "BrainPop" for a 1/2 hour. Read from "Chicken Soup for the Preteens Soul". Babysat Jilly for me while I went out.